i didn't believe the pop. i went after it. and went after it. and went after it. this is pure expecation. i was expecting it to do something, and when it didn't, i didn't belive it. i could have easily flipped the position on the doji after the big green bar. but i didn't. purely because i expected something that didn't happen.

just for reference

okay, so i have come to two conclusions. one, i don't work hard enough at this because if i fail i can say, "we'll i didn't try my hardest". also, when i try hard, and am wrong, it drives me nuts. it's easier for me to not care. that way if i am wrong, its no big deal. i really have to come to terms with giving this my fullest effort.

another reason is because trading is not as fun or glamourous as i thought it was from the outside looking in.  most of the time it's boring. you are sitting around, scrolling through charts all day. just waiting to make the move. when i can become consistent at this, i have a feeling these feelings will change. i will enjoy getting the best of the market, market maker, or mr. silver spoon. right now, they are getting the best of me.

since i am primarily trading 15 min charts, i am going to try to set up a system where i scroll through charts the last 10 mins of the candle. and the first 5 minutes, walk away, do pushups, step outside. that way i am not glued to the up and down every second.

another problem may be information overload. i have the scanners pulling up stocks all day that are breaking highs/lows, or running currently. i also have watchlist windows for stocks up over $1, gap up stocks, gap down, and momo stocks. i think i hardly scroll through them all because the scanner pulls up so many. and i am afraid of erasing the "ugly" charts because i don't know if they will turn nicer in the end of the day. i need to work out a system where i am not on overload and just ignore everything. in "trading from the gut" he talks about how when you are at a party you can tune out the ambient noise and listen in on your conversation. but at some point, there is too much noise and you can't here anything anymore. he relates this to watching CNBC where they have to make small things into large things because they really don't have crap to talk about. I agree. That is why I never have it on. But i need to filter the system, so i see less as well. i don't want ignore the great signals that come my way.

today i think i was down $165. i gave up after the RIG trade. i was upset with myself for not playing the opposite way. not being open to what the market is saying.

i need to learn to take full responsiblity and put in full focus. i want this to work.

just for reference. showing myself there are stocks everyday that move, just need to make it happen.